Parent Course: No-Influence Mentoring

Lesson 3: Releasing Control as a Parent

In this week’s lesson, Dr. Jacob talks about control and influence when raising kids. As parents, we want our kids to be successful, and we’re willing to do whatever it takes to get them there. The challenge is, as we control our kids more, they become less accountable. They become more reactive. They never learn to think for themselves. The No-Influence Mentoring model proposes that you never try to change a person, instead you help them figure out what they want so they can learn from their own decisions. You will also hear from Dr. Isaac Kashiwagi, second youngest child in the Kashiwagi family, as he shares his perspective on what it was like to grow up without rules.   

For this lesson watch the following videos by Dr. Jacob Kashiwagi and his brother Dr. Isaac Kashiwagi and then proceed to the activities. 

Reading Material

Read Chapter 3 from Dr. Jacob’s book, No-Influence Mentoring (Purchase Link), or download a chapter excerpt HERE.

Activities (submit work to for feedback!)

This week, experiment by eliminating a rule in your house. You can tell your kids that it’s no longer a rule or you can just stop enforcing it without saying anything. Keep a log and write observations on your relationship with your child and the workings of the family. 

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